Pro: Fun fact-those shrieks are actually my conscience telling me it’s time to step up for others. And parenting a helpless child who demands my full attention would be a beautiful commitment to unselfish love.Ĭon: I am a selfish monster who would rather spend my evening peacefully eating chicken wings while watching the sci-fi cult classic “Moon,” starring Sam Rockwell, than caring for a needy, weird flesh-bundle who communicates by shrieking. Sarcasm, weighted nature hikes are an incredible workout. She’ll read tons of think pieces when she’s three years old, in between bouts of sneezing in my face and screaming “Daddy, I hate you!” because I won’t let her ride me like a pack mule for more than two hours on nature hikes.
Pro: My genius kid will eat overwrought think pieces for breakfast!Ĭon: Yeah, totally. Pro: My smart, morally aware kid will fight against overpopulation.Ĭon: That sounds like a bullshit rationalization that an élitist liberal would use in an overwrought think piece.